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The Hidden Enemy Of Your Personal Happiness

The hidden enemy to your personal happiness is a victim-perspective. What makes this enemy so deadly is the fact that it’s almost impossible to see in the mirror, like pride. However, if you manage to disarm this perspective you'll unlock the kind of personal happiness you may have only ever seen in movies!

Photo by Melody Jacobs via

Over the years, I’ve had the privilege of counseling many people as a pastor. This was one of my favorite parts of my responsibility - Helping people overcome deeply personal problems in a one-on-one capacity. It’s something that I never took for granted, and hope I never do.

One of the things I learned very quickly was how much our perspective matters when navigating difficulty in life at any level. Whether you are navigating a job loss or the loss of a child, the significance of the perspective you have during that season can make all the difference.

This is how I came to discover what I call the hidden enemy of your personal happiness. There are two primary perspectives when navigating difficulty, a victor's perspective, and a victim’s perspective. My goal is to expose the victim’s perspective in this post.

There’s a popular quote that declares, “Knowing is half the battle.” That said, I want you to know this enemy and be able to recognize it whenever it surfaces in your heart. Here’s a simple breakdown of what a victim perspective looks like.

People with a victim-perspective have a habit of doing these four things. To read more on any of the following topics just click the heading.

  1. Complaining Instead Of Moving On This perspective makes us kings and queens of complaining. Even the smallest issue becomes important enough for us to invest our energy into complaining about it. Energy, that is often better spent helping us to move on.

  2. Buying Stuff To Impress Others The need to have all the newest anything for the sake of what people may think, stems directly from this victim perspective. It’s just a way of seeking acceptance from people who have little to no power to improve or change your life. Instead, you can invest in building experiences and skills that equip you to build a better life.

  3. Embracing Self-Criticism Over of Self-Improvement I think we can all agree that our inner critic doesn’t need any support or co-sign. You can know that you’re carrying a victim perspective when you find your inner critic growing stronger somehow. You silence your inner critic when you focus on self-improvement and personal growth.

  4. Comparing Yourself to Others Instead Of Celebrating Them There’s no win in comparison, according to Andy Stanely, one of my favorite authors and speakers. If you find that you constantly compare yourself to the people around you and are unable to celebrate their success genuinely. You can be confident that a victim's perspective has set in and requires your immediate attention.

QUESTION: How do you beat the comparison trap?

So many people can get stuck in a vicious cycle of comparing themselves to others constantly. When you catch yourself in this cycle or just beginning it, how do you stop yourself? What do you do to fight against it?

Comment below or email me to let me know what your response is. You can also subscribe to my newsletter for bonus tips and resources on self-leadership and work-life balance or follow my podcast - The Pocket Potential.

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